life

Turn Left, Go Forth

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In the run up to the 2008 Presidential Election, I outlined why it was that I, an out-of-country observer, felt that it was so important that Barack Obama be elected to the highest office in America. Now, it is time for the United Kingdom’s General Election. And once again, I want to get my thoughts down in writing.

My politics are best summarised in the phrase “March of Progress Socialism”. I am unashamedly Left Wing, because I believe that the existence of The State is right, and necessary. People simply cannot be expected to do everything for themselves all the time. It’s not right. It’s not fair. It doesn’t work. We all need a helping hand from time to time. And whether it’s as small as a little extra money to pay for our children’s wellbeing or as large as our time in Education, it’s all important.

Right is Wrong

The right wing would have us believe that all The State does is meddle in our affairs and give out handouts to scum. They are wrong. They’re fundamental politics are wrong. They have lost sight of the bigger picture.

It’s not always their fault. Many of them turned to the right for good reasons. Perhaps because of some injustice that was done to them, perhaps because they have been misled by the press into blaming the left or a left-wing government for something that has happened in the world.

But the fact is, the right wing simply doesn’t represent the views and needs of the many. In fact, in a lot of cases (See the Tea Party Activists in the United States for an example), the right wing isn’t even a good deal for the people who support it. It’s built on ideas which sound great, in theory, but which really don’t add up in the real world.

David Cameron’s Conservative Party is the embodiment of this disconnect. David claims to stand for “The Great Ignored”. He claims he understands our problems, he says we need change to Fix Our Broken Society. All three of these insinuations are completely false. Cameron the Chameleon is nothing but a spin doctor working for the interests of his corporate paymasters like Lord Ashcroft. This is a man who claims Nelson Mandela as a personal hero – but who was only too happy to be wined and dined by the leaders of Apartheid South Africa whilst the great man was still imprisoned for daring to question Apartheid.

Who are the Great Ignored? Cameron pretends the majority of Britain’s Middle and Working Class folks are. That’s not true. They’re not conservative at all. In fact, “The Great Ignored” just means the rich and privileged, the bigots & the posh, the dying breeds of a forgotten era. The fact is, Cameron and his supporters are a minority. We have a relatively Democratic system. Those people are not ignored, but their collective will is less than that of the rest of the population – who are Left and Centre-Left.

And Cameron knows it. And he hates it. David and his cronies know that with a truly democratic system, such as the alternative vote system, their kind would never again control this great land. And so they oppose it. They don’t want us to exert the full extent of our collective will, because they can only win under the First Past The Post system we currently have. So, unique of the three main parties – and despite pledging to “Fix Our Broken Politics” – they oppose the Alternative Vote System

The right wing is selfishness personified. The actions of the Tory Party show nothing but self-interest. They have no compassion. They want to give massive tax cuts to the rich, whilst they pull vital financial support from needy families and cut spending in our state schools.

In essence, they want to create a New Age of Privilege. David calls it “The Big Society”. I call it abhorrent.

And I won’t be a part of it. This is not the time for Cameron and his Short Change. Progress must go on.

Turn Left, Go Forth.

I support The Labour Party for Government.

Labour’s agenda isn’t based on self-interest or pie-in-the-sky idealism, but on offering real help and support to people who really need it. A Future Fair For All is the only future which will help the March of Progress. We cannot afford to turn back now because mistakes have been made. The way to win is to learn from the mistakes, correct the strategy, and plow on ahead.

Labour will not Tax the poor to offer a break to the rich. Labour will have the rich pay their fair share to help provide vital services, as well as help for those who need it most. Labour is not going to cut teachers from our schools or nurses from our hospitals.

The Tories would plunge us back into a Thatcherite Dark Age. Labour would lead us further on the path to prosperity.

The March of Progress is so important. The March of Progress creates equality – it’s what killed slavery and is helping to kill racism and sexism in the world. Only through working together can we achieve it though. David Cameron says that’s what The Big Society’s about. It’s not. What he’s not telling you is when he says “People need to work together” in The Big Society, he’s missing the word “you”. As in “You People need to work together”. Because David isn’t one of us, and he doesn’t care about what we need. The Big Society doesn’t require David and his Privileged friends to do their part. They get an Inheritance Tax Cut, an Income Tax Cut and their Businesses can go on making massive profits even at our collective expense.

The Great in Great Britain

I love this country. This wonderful country with its diverse people and its hard work and its sense of humour and its beautiful land. I am a proud patriot. And as a patriot, the Conservative campaign offends me at least as much as it offends me as a March of Progress Socialist. David tells us we need to fix this country, that it’s full of scroungers and immigrants and scofflaw youths. And it’s all Labour’s fault.

This, he says, is Broken Britain.

And he can fix it.

Britain isn’t Broken, David. And if it ain’t broke, we don’t need you to fix it.

I don’t look around and see a broken society. I see a wonderful nation full of wonderful, hard-working people. I see families going out of their way to give their children a chance at University and a better life, I see a diverse range of people coming together in a country world-renowned as a cultural boiling pot. I see the young campaigning and fighting for equality, justice and the greater good. I see them all laughing and joking and drinking together.

And it’s good.

But times are tough, we all know. And that’s why now, more than ever, the way forward is left.

A vote for Labour is a vote to take away some of the burden weighing on all these wonderful people’s shoulders. These are the real Britons. Not billionaires like Ashcroft who don’t live here or work here or contribute to our society.

If the Tories win, we lose, not Labour and not the Lib Dems.

Vote for Labour, A Future Fair For All.

The Final Stretch

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Well today is the very last day of my Easter Holiday away from College. Tomorrow, it’s back to the Sawtry Community College for the home stretch. Three weeks this coming Thursday, I’m onstage wrapping up our official time at Sawtry with the SCC Sixth Form Leavers 2010 Final Assembly. I promise a show like no other. This is going to be one helluva spectacle folks.

A couple of weeks alter, on Friday the 28th of May, at Twenty-Five to One in the afternoon, my last ever lesson at Sawtry ends. After that, all I have there is four exams. The mind boggles that in less than six weeks, it’s all over. Seven years on, as by far the longest-lasting constant in my life outside of my immediate family, my time at SCC comes to an end. Naturally, that means I will have a lot of spare time for some three months. And that in turn means I’ll have more time to spend on doofy crap for this here website.

Then, it’s on to Uni. Which leads me neatly to the other thing which will take up my newfound spare time, the pursuit of money. Yes, it seems I’ll have to pick up at least a few days’ overtime each week as summer rolls around in order to build up a nice lump of spare money to spend on life in Pompey.

Man, writing this all down, it steal feels unreal. I am simultaneously overcome with amazement at how short the time left is and an overwhelming lack of comprehension of that fact.

It’s a weird time of life, you know? Everything’s basically done here but the closing number. We’ve got plans to end it all with a succession of show-stoppers though. The Final Assembly I’m putting together is an extravaganza. It’s a celebration, a variety show, a trip down memory lane, a massive pat on the back and more all crammed into an hour. I’m shooting for the full range of emotions. They’ll laugh, they’ll cry, they’ll cheer, they’ll be proud, they’ll be embarrassed, they’ll smile, they’ll cry & of course, they’ll smile. This is the biggest thing I’ve ever done. And I assure you, I take it very bloody seriously.

Then, a bunch of us are going to tear it up at a Theme Park for the day. Alton Towers is, I think, again the plan. And then we’ve got the End of Year Ball in early July. We call it a ball, but it’s being deliberately organised to allow us to go to the clubs & bars afterwards, so I’m, not certain “Ball” is the word. But it’s going to be one helluva party. Later that month, in a last hurrah before the exam results day, I’m off back to Disneyland Paris with some mates. Imagine the high spirits!

…And there it is again. I’m writing this partly to try and make it all sink in but…It just seems unreal to me.

Oh well, maybe it’ll sink in tomorrow when I hit the College. I’ve got a surprise for everyone which will be immediately apparent, and I have some unfinished business to take care of. It’s the home stretch, and it all kicks off in less than 15 hours. Here. We. Go.

The Month Of My Life

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And so begins the month of October. Always one of my favourites – not least because my birthday happens to fall in it. There are other reasons though! I AM complex. I AM. I also enjoy the weather (It’s cool, but not yet cold), the ambience (Autumnal and airy, very relaxing). It also contains Halloween – which is always good for a laugh, candy.

So at the best of times, I think October makes all other months (Except December) its bitches. And December is at the very best October’s subordinate…Okay, it’s right-hand man. But I digress. The point is, October 2009 is even better than most Octobers. I will go so far as to predict it will be the best month of my life to date.

But naturally, you are sceptical and require me to furnish you with details. Very well! First, I get paid twice this month. Once on the 2nd, and then again on the 30th. That means I make lots moolah this month, guaranteed.

Second, I’m only working 1 and a half days this month – the 3rd and half of the 24th. Time away from work is how we as humans simultaneously stick it to the man and uncaringly kick it. As an aficionado of both sticking it to the man and kicking it, I love that.

Then, obviously, there is my Birthday. I know I mentioned that earlier, but this is my 18th birthday. That means booze and an ability to look down on people as children without the irritating sense of empathy.

There’s also a strong chance that my hero Jenson Button and my F1 Dream Team (Brawn GP) can wrap up the F1 WDC and WCC this month. Both could go to the very start of November, but I sure hope not. I’m torn between wanting JB to nab the Title at Suzuka on Sunday or Interlagos on the 18th.

On the one hand, the sooner the better. On the other hand, the 18th is a mere 5 days from my birthday, meaning it’d be sort of like a present for me! Either is pretty awesome for me though, so I’m not too fussed.

The crazy part is, that’s not even close to all.

On the 24th, after my half day at work, me and a mate are heading down to The O2 in London to see my favourite band, Green Day, live in Concert. And as we’re both 18, we can also drink alcohol whilst there. Alcohol and punk rock…I’m living the dream.

As if THAT weren’t enough to make this the best month in the history of months (Which i suppose means ever), the next day me and the folks are off to Paris.

Paris, France. France the European Country! Now Paris is pretty awesome on its own, seeing as it’s one of the world’s great cities. But it also happens to mean I finally get to go back to Europe’s largest Tourist attraction…

I’m going back to a Disney Park! Now if you think that doesn’t clearly top it off as the greatest month in the history of like ever for me, you’re either crazy or you don’t know me.

On a side note, I want my UCAS Application done this month. Wish me luck.

Christmas Letter 2008

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Oh, I guess it’s that time of year again.

You probably think I mean Christmas, but in fact you are but half-correct, half I say! I am referring to the (As of this year) annual custom where I waste the time of my friends and family with a pointlessly and arguably too-long letter reflecting on the past year, which this year means we have a lot to cover, and with any luck we’ll get some hilarious snarky comments in along the way.

Huzzah!

Ah, but what is it about this year that is most memorable? After all, so much has hap…Yeah, alright, the economy went down the proverbial crapper, nay the literary crapper. And that’s kind of a bummer. Money’s, like, useful. It can be exchanged for goods and services. And I don’t know about you, but I for one like goods and services. They’re great! But you know…Whatever. There’s more than one way to have a party!

Ignoring the fact that I had no idea where I was going with that metaphor when I wrote it, I shall move onto some good news. Bush is gone in a month. Obama is in in a month. For us Brits, that means we can finally stop hating the country which gives us such wonderful gifts as The Simpsons, Heroes, The Killers and Katy Perry.

Oh hey, speaking of music, Axl Rose (We get it Axl, it’s an anagram of an impure act. It’s not funny any more dude, get a real name) finally got around to releasing his album “Chinese Democracy”, the most expensive and also inappropriately attributed album ever recorded. I mean, honestly, “Guns ‘n’ Roses”? There’s more members of Guns ‘n’ Roses in Velvet Revolver! Perhaps Mr. Rose has difficulty moving on. So while your enjoying your wonderful Christmas, shed a tear for a washed-up old rock star whose latest record is rubbish and who can’t seem to move on I mean seriously what the hell get over it.

Ahem. Got a bit carried away there. Anywho, in other entertainment news, The Dark Knight came out, meaning we have been given something unheard of since before Tim Burton got kicked off the project: A good Batman sequel. If you don’t know what I’m getting at, go watch Batman & Robin, a movie so bad its star will personally reimburse you the cost of admission on request.

So I guess, actually, don’t watch it.

Now then, let us not forget that we almost did not get to see this Christmas. It seems a group of friendly nutcases near Geneva decided to build and activate the first Halo ri…I mean, the Large Hadron Collider. A device with potentially catastrophic consequences. Yes, our friends in Switzerland chose to risk sucking us all into a Black Hole. But the risk of being condensed to a singularity isn’t even the worst bit. We’d have had to die in Switzerland…That’s so boring! They’re neutrals! It’s neither a hateable place or one you’d love! Never mind though, because we seem to have escaped the worst of it.

Huzzah!

In fact, some people are trying to save the world to make up for it! That and, you know, white liberal guilt. Yes, Bill Gates has decided to dedicate himself to philanthropy. Damn does that man want a Nobel or what? Well whatever, good luck to him. Lot these days makes you think the world’s headed downhill, good work should be applauded. So, uh, yeah. Woo for the world’s charity even in what’s tastefully not being called a Depression.

But it is.

But we don’t call it that.

Cos it seems less dramatic if we call it a “Crunch”.

Or a “downturn”.

It’s like how we don’t call it Global Warming or the Melting of the Polar Ice Caps, we call it “Climate Change”.

But I digress. Man has it been a fast year or what? I swear it was only a matter of weeks ago I was gearing up for GCSE exams, and yet it was many months ago. I’ve long since passed and joined the madhouse that is Sixth Form and yet, it still seems like no time has passed at all. Nevertheless, so much has happened it’s hard to remember most of it.

Hmm…Oh, I got a Mac. Which is nice…Let’s see…Important things we haven’t covered yet…Um…I hear Canadia has had its government shut down by their Prime Minister. Something about protecting his job and right-wing policies from the left-wing will of the people. So, uh, sucks to be them I s’pose…Oh, speaking of Governance, Mr. Brown saw fit to drop our VAT! Yes, I know it’s only till the end of 2009, still nice though. Bloody Tories inflated it so much. Honestly. Anywho, props to Mr. Brown for that. He is good godammit. Stop reading the Red Tops! These are the same journalists who tell you which public figure is involved in which sex scandal!

I mean, what the heck kind of political knowledge can they have if that is what became of their lives.

Oh, hang on though, speaking of sex scandals, Screws of the World totally got Max Mosley. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer bloke.

Hmm, I was just looking over the list of Christmas Number One contenders…I mean…Wow. It’s like actual musicians don’t even I want to beat X Factor phonies any more. Where are the proper Christmas-themed songs? I mean, there’s a few there, but they’re mostly covers and/or likely to be the same dreary pseudo-joyous “Christmas” junk we’ve had to make do with for nearly two decades now!

Someone release a new Merry Xmas Everybody, please! A proper, 21st Century Christmas rocker.

And while we’re at it, let’s get rid of the X Factor. The era of manufactured music must end! Open your ey…EARS people!

Erm, excuse me. Got a bit carried away there. So, what will the new year bring us? Well, if I knew that, I would be aiming to make a killing at the Bookies and on the Stock Market (They’re having their 35 Years-ly Blowout Sale by the way!). So since I have no idea, I can but guess…Let’s see…Predictions and aims for the new year…2009…Two Thousand and Nine…Hmmm…

Sky will stay blue; music will continue to dominate culture; the economy will finally begin to rebound; summer will be hot; spring will suck just as much as ever and someone, somewhere, will be inappropriately offended by something they know was not meant in that way – they will proceed to destroy someone’s career over it despite being aware they meant and caused no actual harm.

Yeah, I guess most of those are cop outs, the summer one’s just wishful thinking. Yes, you read that right. So then, aims…

Hmm…Seems like I should be more decisive and also stop, you know, thinking in text…I mean, it’s text. If I need to think of something why don’t I just stop writing until I have? I mean, the way I’m doing it’s just weird, right? Well, anyway, those and probably something about expressing love. That sort of thing always goes down well. So, yeah. Hmm, actually that reminds me of something…

Yes, I’ve checked. Mistletoe’s white things are, indeed, berries. Also it’s a poisonous parasite.

We humans chose some odd symbols for love.

Anyway, I’ve kept you long enough. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone!

Yours,
Paul “Jensonb” Douglas

PS: I just noticed this letter’s almost twice as long as the first one.

PPS: I want to make it clear, that I think that is all the way awesome.

PPPS: So there.

Out Of Many, One

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On November the 4th, the United States of America will be electing a new President. They will be deciding who controls the House of Representatives and who controls the Senate. All of these are important decisions, but the former is even more important as it is not just important for the American people, but for the world.

For 8 years, America has been ruled by George W. Bush. And for 8 years, the world has grown steadily more out of love with the USA. From the heady days of Clinton, still the most popular President amongst non-Americans, to the single least popular President (At home or abroad) in history, it’s quite a come down.

Non-Americans never liked Bush. Europeans dislike him because he’s too right wing for instance. The man didn’t even win the election fair and square, it’s very likely Al Gore (Who was certainly the more qualified candidate) had enough votes to win. But life’s not simple, so he went home a loser (Before bouncing back as an environmental icon unlike any other in history).

He swept through the 2004 election on a Magic Carpet of American prejudice (Colourfully called “values”) and War on Terror-themed propaganda, shamelessly attacking his (Admittedly) weak opponent John Kerry. Kerry may have been a weak Democrat, but he would have been twice the President Bush has been and the cheek a draft-dodger like Bush has questioning Mr. Kerry’s political record is simply indescribable.

2 years ago, the Democrats got back in the game. They swept to power in the House and the Senate on a tidal wave of anti-Bush backlash. And who can blame the Americans for regretting their choice of leader? Bush has spent 4 years killing the economy, eroding civil liberties and ignoring national crises. He’s embarrassed the entire country, reducing what should be the greatest democracy in the world to an international punch-line.

Well, on November 4th, the American people have a final decision to make. They have a choice between two things. One the one hand, they can finish what they started 2 years ago, fix their problems at home and restore their standing on the world stage. On the other hand, they can finish President Bush’s hack-job.

The first choice, the only choice, is Barack Obama. Mr. Obama represents all that America pertains to stand for. He is inclusionary, smart & likable, he lived the “American Dream”. His popularity on the world stage rivals Clinton, rivals Kennedy. He gets it. Mr. Obama has shown he knows what’s ailing the US at home, and he’s shown he knows what must be done to restore America’s popularity in the world.

The bottom of the Democratic ticket too is a strong, good choice. Joe Biden is truly in tune with the “working man” of America. He’s a nice guy and he knows his stuff. More importantly, he is fit to lead should the unthinkable happen. Joe Biden is one of the smartest VP picks in a long time.

The second choice? Not a choice at all. A dangerous and damaging option, is Republican ticket McCain/Palin. John McCain has betrayed everything he has ever stood for. He used to be a passably acceptable moderate Republican, but has sold his soul to become…Another Bush.

The Republican party may wish to continue on the dark path set up by Reagan all those years ago, but Reagan was of his time. Things have changed, and we do not need another Bush. McCain has demonstrated he will continue the failed social and economic policies of George Bush. he has demonstrated he will use the same foreign policy as George W. Bush. he has pent 2 years distancing himself from George W. Bush. But throughout that time, he has shown he is now a veritable Bush clone.

And the kicker? He agreed with Bush more than 90% of the time, including on all the issues that really matter.

Perhaps worse, is Sarah Palin. Palin is a fool. She is, in fact, worse than that. She has every capacity to be incredibly intelligent. She simply chooses not to be. She represents Bushism at its worst. She is a divisive, arrogant liar and unfit to lead a dance recital.

Why is a Governor of Alaska who has supported the treasonous secessionism rampant in that state being allowed to run for Vice President of the United States? The RNC has decided their slogans are “Country First” and “The Change you deserve”.

Palin is married to a former member of the Alaskan Secessionist Party. Palin warmly welcomed that party to their conference this year. Their slogan is “Alaska First, Alaska Always”. Which is it Sarah? America or Alaska? VP or Secessionist?

Palin and McCain are Bush and Cheney warmed over. Apparently the RNC thinks it’s funny. “The Change America Deserves” is, apparently, no change at all. Once again, the Republicans have anointed themselves America’s only valid opinion and decided to try and convince everyone else it’s their opinion too.

Well I sense the Change we Need. Hope.

Barack Obama represents and embodies the ideals and aspirations of so many people like nobody has in a long time.

E pluribus unum. Out of Many, One.

I love America. I love what it stands for and I love much of what it produces. I love the way its government is structured, even the way its road signs look. It’s not that I dislike the UK, and more that the US represents so many of my beliefs. Like in true freedom. The American Dream. And so much more.

It’s been painful to watch what became of the country under Bush. And I confess, he had me fooled too. At first. But as I watched, the more I realised he was wrong. His is not an America I can get behind.

And then, from nowhere, Blessing. Barack. Obama represents the kind of aspirational leader I feared I would never live to see. He appeals to me in the same way Kennedy does. And his policies, his attitude, his ideals…He represents all that I love about America.

And so whilst it may seem to you like I have no stake in this election, you’re wrong. And in case you hadn’t guessed…

No way. No how. No McCain.
I support Barack Obama for President.

Anthem To My Era

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So, normally, I don’t pre-order things that much. I usually just pre-order the things I want the most. Well there’s a lot of stuff I’m wanting a lot lately cos I have 3 pending pre-orders and I suspect I might have to make another one soon.

You probably guessed from that image (And know if you follow me on Twitter) that one of those things is a White DSi. I went for a GAME bundle with a 1GB SD Card for £159.99 – one of the reasons I want it is DSiWare, so I might as well make sure I have some storage for it from the word go, right?

Some people have been asking why I want one so much, so to answer I point out I have a DS Phat. Plus, I’m a sucker for swiss army knives. I also happen to think it’s hot, but that’s neither here nor there.

The other big recent pre-order? 21st Century Breakdown. The new Green Day album is coming at last! I’ve been waiting for years, but finally my favourite band is following up the epic American Idiot. From what I’ve heard, it’s worth the wait – 21st Century Breakdown sounds like it’s about all the same things playing on my mind lately.

And the title track is an anthem to our era – something I didn’t realise I was looking for until I found out there was one. It’s gonna be awesome!

Green Day also announced a World Tour to go along with the album. Having narrowly missed out on the last one by virtue of becoming a fan about a month too late for tickets (Irony) I’m hoping to head to a gig in this one.

As for the third pre-order? That’s Killzone 2. I’ve said enough on that to fill a book (Well, not, you know, really). Looks awesome, I’ll leave it at that.

Anyway, this is shaping up to be a better year than I thought!